Monday, March 23, 2009

You Can't Tell, But I'm Moving In The Right Direction!

I am - truely!! I managed to loose four pounds this week; just don't ask me how. Cause I don't have a clue. I ate out, didn't exercise; maybe it's because I slept most of the day Saturday and only ate once at about 8:30pm? But it was pizza so...I give up. I don't know why I lost them but I am glad to be rid of them. So there. PFFT. I have somehow managed to reset my weight loss ticker by accident, but that is OK because I feel like I am starting over now anyway. I read a FANTASTIC book this weekend (when I wasn't sleeping on Saturday) - more about it below - and it gave me some renewed faith in my ability to lose this weight. My goal is still the same - to weigh 265 by August 1st - but I will have to work a lot harder to attain it now because I have been messing around and not paying attention to how much time has gone by. It is still a reasonable goal of about three pounds per week, and if I get this gigantic butt of mine moving, that will help out even more.

So, the book. It is "Such A Pretty Fat" by Jen Lancaster. I nearly died about 50 times from laughter while reading this book!! However, there is bad language in it, so you may need to self-edit it. Otherwise, it is fantastic. She has written three books total, but at the time of writing this one, she had only published her first book, "Bitter Is The New Black". She determines that she needs to loose weight, so her agent suggests she write a book about her journey. I loved it because I felt like (aside from the bad language) this book could have been written by me. She has the same views on a lot of things and she has the same sence of humor that I do. I also loved her because she moaned about the same things I would have (a personal trainer named Barbie?), her fears were the same as mine, etc. I like the book because it is about a REAL PERSON and her fears are real just like mine. I just got off the phone with my sister, telling her about it and I am going to send it to her so she can enjoy it. I think that I will also run out (drive, sorry, not run...not yet) and buy her other two books as well.

Well, that's all that's new for now. TTFN.

Monday, March 16, 2009

I caved...

Yes, I admit it; I caved in and called to have my cable hooked back up (SHUT UP!). Hey - I really tried!! But, living in Montana and not being able to hear the weather in the morning is not such a hot idea. At least, not at this time of the year. Trying to dress for a new day based on the weather the day before is not an exact science. Or any science for that matter. Last week, on Saturday, the weather was glorious! 55 degrees, sunny, warm, nice breeze, etc. Cut to 9:37am Sunday and two inches of snow on the ground accumulating to a total of almost 6 inches by Monday morning. Um, yeah. Good thing I didn't grab my shorts and sandals! Well, I wouldn't be grabbing shorts anyway, but...uh...thingy.

Anyhoo, I can't wait to get it back. I am missing my favorite shows, although Ollie and I are having a lot of fun getting together to watch the Biggest Loser every Tuesday night. The biggest problem we have is that I want to bring nibbly things to snack on that are not in the spirit of the show! I did purchase the first season of The Big Bang Theory on DVD this week and watched all three DVDs. I LOVE that show!! I would go out with any of those guys, except Walowitz. He is just toooooo much of a horn dog for this gal. I would even date Sheldon with all his sphinter-puckering idiosyncracies. I love Leonard though; he is the perfect mix. So, I have to wait until next Monday to get everything back, and I will be a happier camper!

Also, you may have noticed that the weight tracker didn't change this week (or did you notice? See how you are?) - that would be because I DIDN'T GAIN THIS WEEK! Yeehaw! No, I didn't lose, but please don't harsh my buzz, OK? I plan to buckle down this week and stick to a decent eating plan and hopefully will take a little exercise and get that going as well. Since there is more daylight at the end of the day, I am not so inclined to go sleepy bo bos when I get home from work; hopefully I can put that extra time to good use. Ha.

Well, since I don't have a lot to say today, I thought I would share some wisdom from Andy Rooney. That guy is older than dirt but still hanging in there; there aren't a lot like him left and it's a darn shame. Please to enjoy:

I've learned....
That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
That when you're in love, it shows.
That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings
in the world.
That being kind is more important than being right.
That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in
some other way.
That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend
to act goofy with.
That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was
a child did wonders for me as an adult.
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster
it goes.
That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
That money doesn't buy class.
That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated
and loved.
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person
continue to hurt you.
That love, not time, heals all wounds.
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people
smarter than I am.
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
That opportunities are never lost, someone will take the ones you miss.
That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
That I wish I could have told my Dad that I loved him one more time before he
passed away.
That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may
have to eat them.
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist,
that you're hooked for life.
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and
growth occurs while you're climbing it.
That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.


Monday, March 9, 2009

Not much new...How U?

Well, the weight loss tracker is still moving in the wrong direction. CRAP. Yes, I said it, you read it, C R A P. I HATE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT!!! Sigh. OK, enough self-pity - what was the problem? Oh, just pizza and pasta and those stupid little chocolate donuts that you can get at WalMart by the crate. Oh yeah, and still taking no exercise. Other than that, I just can't understand why I am not waking up each morning in a puddle of fat! Depression has been crushing all of my best habits lately (shut up, yes, I do have a few) and causing me to eat all kinds of garbage just in case the world shall end in my sleep and I will never get the opportunity to eat pizza or little chocolate donuts by the crate ever again. The fact that the world seems to keep dawning new each morning has apparently been lost on my depression-addled brain. So, help me out here in reaching said brain. Please take a moment to scream at the top of your lungs along with me - yes, you in the back, come on speak up - STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!!! Thank you.

Having said that, I actually woke up in a pretty focused mood this morning. I realized that I have not been taking any of my medications for at least a week; perhaps this could be part of the problem. Not just with the depression - doesn't take a MD to figure that one out - but with my weight loss (gain) problems and eating out of control. So, this morning I am back on the meds. Yesterday, with the threat of Les coming to possibly spend the evening, I actually managed to get the living room into some kind of shape that would not cause me to blindfold him before he came in the front door. I have been living in mortal fear that the dreaded landlord would make an appearance and demand entry and I would have to feign the Black Plague to keep him outside. I even sent Ollie an email and told her that she may now come over to watch movies with me if she wished - just as long as she did not look into the kitchen (which is another post in itself). I am not completely finished but the goal for tonight is to finish it and get out my walking-exercise DVD. I had an awesome CD playing yesterday (that Sissy made for me) while I was cleaning, and sometimes I ran in place to the music or just danced in an alarmingly white way (arm flinging, pointing at random objects repeatedly, the Cabbage, etc.). If my landlord has hidden cameras in my place then he is blind now, and deservedly so. I was surprised by these sudden and random bursts of energy; it just isn't like me. But, I would like it to be like me, and to be more often like me.

I really hate this part of Daylight Savings Time too - do not mess with my sleep time, do not take an hour away from me! But, I will have to say, I do enjoy having more light at the end of the day. I wish that the US would just leave the time where it is now and stop messing with it. Arizona doesn't even participate - how funny is that?? I like having more sun at the end of the day so that I can get stuff done at home. If it's dark outside when I get home, it must be sleepy time. I want to get the house back in shape, and I want to make some earrings and bracelets with the lovely lovely beads that I bought on Saturday. Man, I walked out of the bead store with a sack the size of an egg and it cost me $45!! When you are scooping up pretty shiney things at $.10 a piece, you forget exactly how much money you are spending; I think they do that on purpose. If I manage to make anything, I will post some pictures of them on here.

Speaking of posting pictures, I took in my collection of portraits that I have taken over the years in to show my therapist on Saturday. It's one of the few things I have done in life that I am proud of, so I just wanted to show them off. She thinks that getting back into photography will help me a lot with my depression. My problem is that Alisha, Reanna and Amber were my star models, and I'm not down there any more! So, somehow I will have to find some people that will allow me to take their pictures I guess. If the girls will give me permission, I will post some of my favorite portraits on here too.

Well - I guess I should stop blathering and get on with it; I did really well on my eating today and I drank at least 40 oz of water so far today. I have no clue what I'm doing for dinner, but I will try my best to be good.


Thursday, March 5, 2009

What A Cold Day In Hell Must Look Like

I took this picture with my cell phone the other day when I was sitting in the drive-thru at Mickey D's (notice the huge crack in my windshield that goes all the way across the picture). What were you doing at McD's you ask? Shut up, I reply. This McD's thermometer always seems to go out of whack when the temp drops below a certain degree. It just cracked me up seeing 266 degrees F juxtaposed with 6" of snow on the ground. Just kinda gave me a little giggle.
I had my car in the shop this week; $600 bucks!! Thank goodness for a generous mother that got a decent tax return; if she hadn't been willing to loan it to me, I would be in big trouble!! The timing belt tensioner died - a very rare occurrence. The mechanic said that it is very rare that the part just fails like that; it's usually due to an accident with severe front end damage. He thinks that this part was defective on the day it was manufactured. Sigh. Leave it to me to get it! It was making this horrible loud clacking noise ever since about Christmas time; it was so loud that you could hear me coming about a half mile away, drew stares from people on the street, and made other people roll down their windows and listen to their own vehicles. I would be waving at them and mouthing - no, it's me! Now the Rodeo is so quiet that I am not sure sometimes if it is still actually running! It's like driving a stealth Rodeo! I am so happy. Thanks again, Mom!!

Monday, March 2, 2009

I'm Going In The Wrong Direction

Well, as you can see by my little weight tracker at the top of my blog, I am clearly going in the wrong direction. Apparently my brain has not yet grasped the concept that i am intending to LOSE weight, not GAIN it. I have set myself back 6 pounds this week! Curse Domino's and their fantastic Bacon Cheeseburger pizza!!! I love it so...
I must must must start exercising (hmmm, where have i heard this tune before? Insert sound of broken record here). I saw on the Biggest Loser where all but two of the teams were locked out of the gym and had to learn to improvise a work out for the week without using any of the gym machines. They used this super nifty device that they hooked to a tree and got a full body work out with it. Kind of a loops and pulley sort of system with straps and stuff. Kinda looked like a modern take on a Medieval torture device in yellow and black nylon. I searched and searched and finally found the elusive little sucker online. I thought that if it wasn't too much, i might waste a few dollars on it. Well, it's $200. Too much? Yeah. I guess i will wait to see if i can find one on Ebay sometime in the future. If you want to see it and read the testimonials about it, you can find it here:
I am also trying to find a good bra to wear while exercising (frankly, i am just looking for a good bra PERIOD). Ever try to find a decent sports bra in a size 52DD? Yeah, i thought not. Guess what? They don't exist. I was on the Biggest Loser's website, reading some of the forums, and one gal recommended bras from Enell ( I checked them out; they are not pretty, but they sure look like they would hold the girls firmly! They aren't cheap either ($79 in my size), but if they work, i would be willing to pay a small ransom for one. There is a place here in town that does professional fittings, and i think i will go there to see what my real size is before i spring that kind of cash for one of those corsets. But i would love to start exercising and not come to work with two black eyes (and then try to explain them to an all male staff).
My car has gone in to hospital today; it started making a horrible noise in mid-December and is now having other issues that i believe are related. It could just be a really bad timing belt, but it could be the timing belt tensioner. It could cost $25 to fix or $600 to fix. Boy, do I love surprises! At least i will not be able to hit the fast food places for lunch this week. I am carpooling with Ollie, so i will be forced to bring my lunch to work. i have a few Weight Watchers Smart Ones frozen entrees in the freezer, and i have my Dark Chocolate Raspberry Sugar Free Jello Pudding cups so i think i'll be good to go. Wish me luck, as there is a gas station right around the corner that sells nasty but tasty hot dogs, chips, goodies and candy that is not out of my walking range...curse you Conoco!!!
I got new neighbors over the weekend, and all i can say is WOOHOO! No, not single male heterosexual underwear models with a fetish for short fat women with yellow hair that don't cook or clean; but they are the next best thing. Normal people. Nice normal quiet people. I can't wait to sit out on my back deck this spring and summer and enjoy a nice book and a glass of lemonade without being accosted by my three-sheets-to-the-wind neighbor that always wanted to hug and kiss me, and all of her loud three-sheets-to-the-wind loud mouthed friends. Whee!!!
Well, i guess i should get back to work; i have spent the latter portion of this morning surfing the web and just playing around. Oh well.

  • One sausage McMuffin with egg
  • One McDonalds hashbrown
  • 8oz chocolate milk
  • 6oz water
  1. One Red Baron Personal Deep Dish Meat Trio Pizza
  2. One Dark Chocolate Raspberry Sugar Free Jello pudding cup
  3. 20oz diet coke